Monday, April 2, 2012

Throwing stones at glass houses?


Last week, I was contacted by a headhunter to provide a reference for a “friend” as she is applying for new work. The word friend is used loosely as we have grown apart in the last year due the fact that she fired a mutual friend and stopped talking to not only the mutual friend but myself as well. I guess I was kicked out of the circle due to association.
Ironically, her husband works for Mr. M so we see each other at their work events but gone are the days of fun lunches or phone calls.
And then a few weeks ago, out of the blue, she decides to quit her job and proceeds to tell her husband through a text. We found out later that while she “resigned” from her job, it was forced as she in fact embezzled money from the organization. As an Executive Director of a Non-Profit, it only took a few days for the news of her departure to spread like wildfire through our small town. Now, this friend is living several states away and asking for a reference.
For those that are new readers, my father had an idiot moment with a Con-Artist less than a year ago and squandered away a good chunk of money. So part of me understands that my friend made a stupid mistake. However, the selfish side of me is not sure if I want to associated with someone who has made such an illegal act so publicly and at the same time has been mean/distant to me over the past year.
So, I guess my long-winded question is would you give a recommendation for my friend if you were in my situation?


  1. Personally, I wouldn't if you know for a fact she was involved in shady activity.

  2. I couldn't give one in good conscious. I know it's a long shot, but if that person did something similar there, the person you gave that recommendation to would think you're the same way... several states away or not, I wouldn't want to be associated with her.

  3. I would not give a reference especially because you know she was accused of dishonesty this could come back to haunt you. Like in grand jury kind of haunt.