Saturday, November 24, 2012

Brand New Day...I hope

Tomorrow Mr. M and I embark on a new chapter in our TTC journey – our first (and fingers crossed only) IUI. On the financial front, I am thankful that I started setting money aside a year ago for our future child. It was my hope that we could buy nursery furniture or bedding with that money, but none the less, we have a small fund to help us with this process.
Of all days – my dad sent me an email that wasn’t in the least bit positive. In efforts to reduce stress, I have distanced ourselves from him after the botched attempt at the therapist office (he never went back and then blamed me for the reason that he did not pursue any additional help). His actions make me feel that he is truly controlling and by opening up to him about the latest baby news would probably not serve in our best interest. Then, today, his email came that was really condescending and blaming me in part for the affair. I cannot put into words how quickly my stress level spiked as I went from a laid back girl enjoying her Saturday to a stress ball. This evening, I’ve prayed a lot and have asked God to help me compartmentalize my father’s issues and separate them from the issue that faces Mr. M and me from having the family we desire.
Please say a prayer for us that tomorrow’s procedure will indeed work. I have WebMd/Googled IUI and success rates and I realize it’s a shot in the dark but I’m trying to look at tomorrow as a brand new day (hence the song) for our little family.

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