Monday, August 13, 2012

Dad is back.

My dad sent me a text this morning asking if we could meet for lunch on Wednesday. Since the revelation back in June that he never truly gave up his “mistress” last year, I’ve ended all contact with him. This past weekend he sent an email, called and text about meeting up and I don’t know if I’m ready for it yet.

Is that being a selfish kid?

These past weeks, the PG Olympic parent commercials have made me cry. That bond between parent and child has been obliterated by the acts that were not of my choosing.

Internally, I am conflicted spiritually. I know that I should honor my father and mother but what do you do when they stop acting like parents? Does God still have that same expectation for me no matter the circumstances? Affairs, I realize, are common in the U.S. and that I am not the only person dealing with its affects BUT I do not feel that I should follow the footsteps of others and sweep the incident into the “it will be okay” pile. Why? Because it won’t be okay as I may forgive overtime but I cannot truthfully say that I can honestly forget.

So unsure of what my next steps should be…


  1. This has got to be tough on you. Do you want to hear his side or are you still too angry? I hold grudges much longer than I should, so I understand how anger can keep you from moving forward. I wonder if he's learned his lesson or if that woman is still pulling the strings.

    Whatever you do, stay strong. You will get through this.

  2. Forgive nut don't forget. You don't have to trust him you just have to forgive him.

  3. I am with Kim on this. How can one expect forgiveness from our Lord, if we cannot forgive others. We forgive, but do not forget. We love, but do not trust. I was in a similar situation with my father before he died, and I told him that I forgave him for all he had done, but he violated my trust and I could not respect him. It did not diminish my love for him, just my trust.

  4. I know you would rather cut all communication from him, forever, but I am with Kim on this one. You don't have to like him, accept or approve of him, or his behavior. If you're angry or still not ready to face him, let him know that and perhaps give him a date that works for you.

  5. I can't answer this question for you. As a christian this is how I see it. The bible does say "honor thy father and they mother" Exodus 20:12. This is the position of father and mother. So you should honor his position as father, but not his actions. You wouldn't accept a drug dealers actions as godly, or drunk drivers for that matter. Sin is sin, no matter what sin that is. He is still living in that sin. I would honor your father in his position as father, but not accept his actions.

    Forgiveness is another thing. It is the hardest thing for us to truely give. It goes to those who don't deserve it but needed it the most. And yet God tells us we should. Why? Unforgiveness makes you a prisoner. A prisoner of hate, anger, and shame. God would want you to forgive and move on. Does this mean to act like nothing happened? No. We are not capable of doing that. Just my two cents.