Learning the word "No".

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This past weekend I was invited to a lingerie shower for a friend who is getting married in November. Seeing that this was going to be a non-budgeted expense, I searched high and low for a nice gown that was on sale and luckily I found one 70% off downtown. Score.

I show up at the house, gift in hand and ready to spend a fun night with my girlfriends. Yet when I walked in, I realize that this was really a bad idea because I am such a naïve fool. Our “entertainment” wasn’t a cheesy stripper {Thank God!} but instead a home sex toy party in which the hosts expected us to buy gifts out of the catalogue for the bride.

Awesome.

Now I have no problem with a fun home party but I do have a problem with being forced to sit through a pressure sales pitch to buy something that I have no want/need to buy. Not going to lie – I was a little ticked off. It didn’t matter what the product was, I would still have been offended if we had shown up with gifts and found out that a Pamper Chef representative was coming. I could afford one gift but not several especially those that are not planned.

I wished the host had given me some sort of heads up. So instead of looking like the caring friend with the cool gown, I looked like a prude because I was the only one in the group that refused to buy anything. It would have been easy for me to whip out my credit card and buy something off the bride’s wish list { yes – she made a wish list for us…how kind} but the thought of adding a $20 edible lotion to my debt snowball did not set well with me.

This experience taught me that I can be strong when faced with a money dilemma but I’m still working on my self esteem. Part of my debt problem is that I’m a people pleaser. Don’t have money for dinner? Sure I’ll buy. Oh it’s your birthday? Let me buy you the best gift I can find. Let me take care of you and I’ll just use my credit card to cover the whole thing.

The emotional side money has and will be the hardest part of this journey and learning the word “no” is something that I’m working at.